"...nothing amounts to me not having my father! I know a lot of yall got em but you need em WAY more when you gotta go without em!"
Just having that being repeated in my head was like a wall being knocked down and all these emotions just came front and center! So I put the song on repeat and just let it ride....over and over again. Even as I write this I'm just letting it ride. No accomplishments, no rewards, no painkillers are strong enough to take this pain away!!
"Though, though I'm missin you
I'll find a way to get through
I know livin without ya is impossible
Gooonnee...I know you gon live on
Cuz you were my brotha and I love ya, and I miss ya"
Imagine having the person that you talk to everyday, the person that you go to for ANYTHING suddenly just being taken from you! It makes you live life so differently. I realized before that I- I don't know what I was doing!! Now I live like the present moment is my last moment. Everything that he use to tell me I try to remember but I can never remember enough. I still hear his voice talking to me...[Mind flooded with memories!] I'm gone!
Verse 1:
"Stay strong, be tough, that's what the preacher tell ya
He never really felt ya, so he can't even help ya
Need a shoulder to lean on, somebody to cry to
It's like everything's gone, but I'm a survivor
Standin on stage in front of thousands
Don't amount to me not havin my father
That's real talk, I know a lot of y'all got 'em
But you need 'em way more when you gotta go without 'em
And I'm without 'em, but that's life y'all
Sometimes you gotta learn to swim with no lifeguard
I'm alright God, shit I'm still breathin
But loss hurt like bullets, I'm about to start bleedin
Throw me down some comfort, cause my heart need it
Tryin to cope with my chances and meet 'em
There's a dark road ahead, but I'm tryin to take it easy
Rest in peace Charles Lee [House], my POPS!"
Though I'm missing you I'll find a way to get through cause YOU made me stronger and let me know that I was gonna be alright without you. Through US your memory will live on but PAIN is the obstacle in front of me so I just got to GET OVER!
Wait for me I'm coming!!
We all got a little of you in us
"Like Father, Like Son"
R.I.P Pops!
